Lessons I want my daughter to learn from Beyonce

After digesting this whole Beyonce secret visual album release (yes, I was unproductive for about 3 hours of my life watching Beyonce videos on Tumblr!) I have come to the realization that although most of her new videos are not G rated, there are a number of messages in these songs that I strongly agree with and want to impart on my own daughter.

 

As a 30 year old mother of two, I strongly relate to Beyonce's image of being an independent, beautiful, cultured, intelligent, sexy, mother.   

Me, Erika Layne and my little warrior princess, Jayda.

  Our human nature is to identify the "other" or unfamiliar in order to protect ourselves from possible danger. This has mutated into a train of thought that people are to be put into boxes or categories, for example if a person is a mother, then they cannot be sexy. This statement couldn't be further from the truth. I don't ever want my daughter to be put into a box, to be told that she can't do something as well, or be prevented from realizing her full potential because she is not only a woman, but a woman of color. I want her to have Beyonce's confidence and love for herself, while being humble and gracious.  

People teased me in elementary school because I was too skinny. Guys rarely approached me romantically and I fully blame that on my intimidating height. Nobody is perfect. Neither is Beyonce. I'd like to think she has birthmarks and moles and maybe even a few stretchmarks that magically disappear when edited in post processing. I have not looked into Beyonce's diet or exercise routine, but with those deliciously thick thighs, I wouldn't be surprised if she had to work to keep her body figure healthy and beautifully voluptuous. I want my daughter to be confident about her body image. I don't want her to think she has to be as thin as the celebrities on the tabloid's or the models on fashion magazine covers. Although I don't want my daughter doing a fraction of the gyrating that Beyonce does until she's out of college, I want her to feel beautiful and walk with swag without the help of cat calls from the street.  

  When my daughter finds love in the right place at the right time, I want her to continue to feel sexy and exude that same confidence with her lover. I want her to find a love that will support what she does and love her for who she is. I want her to WANT love, not NEED it. I want her to recognize her power and find someone just as powerful to compliment her. These are all feelings that are conjured whenever I see Beyonce with Jay-Z. I want her to proudly display how a good love feels and is supposed to be.  

 

I want my daughter to be imperfect. While I haven't agreed with cursing most of my life, as an adult I have found a few times when a curse word is the most effective way to express what I am trying to communicate. While I was quite upset when I first heard "bow down" and didn't ever want to see Beyonce "stoop" to a ratchet Rihanna level (no disrespect to miss Ri Ri, I love her passion and music), I can appreciate her showing us that a lady does not have to be confined to fitting into a box. I'd like to think she can wholeheartedly give back to her community and the children of the world and twirk for her husband at the same time. Beyonce's sexy visual love notes and fantasies that she has chosen to share with the world are exactly the way a lot of women want to feel after becoming mothers. That is the main reason I can't stop looking at her; I admire that she is not afraid to celebrate herself, her body and black love.

So tonight I will dream about waking up next to the love of my life while wearing the most revealing black lace lingerie, walking down the hall in slow motion with Beyonce wind blowing through my naturally curly/kinky hair. I will then cook breakfast while holding my little girl on my hip softly kissing her on the forehead. I will do a runway walk out the door and head to a business lunch meeting before heading to my client's house for a photo shoot, all while wearing 6 inch stilettos. Because I am a human superwoman and like my theme song Run The World states, I am "strong enough to bear the children...then get back to business!"  

  If you are interested in hearing more about this topic and have a bit of time then please check out this phenomenal woman, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. Beyonce sampled part of this speech in her song, "flawless"  

 

all images are directly from Beyonce's tumblr.