Parenting: Raising a Gamer

You may look at those big ringlets of dark brown hair, and huge teeth and think this eight year old boy looks innocent enough. My son Camden is a great kid. He listens he doesn't walk around the house cursing. He gets his own breakfast in the morning, and pours his three year old sister some milk. He's a budding scientist and inventor. And sadly, his life seems to revolve around playing video games.

One day last week, he acted hysterical and totally out of character because he couldn't play video games when the sitter said he needed to stay outside and play. No mother wants to hear that their child is that dependent on electronics. I was appalled and thought that the sitter was exaggerating his disappointment, but when I confronted him, he admitted to having acted that way. This is the same little boy who was afraid to climb the jungle gym at the park for the first four years of his life. The same little boy who comes into our room in the morning and snuggles for the best ten minutes of my day before getting ready for school.

Needless to say, his father and I had a good "sit down" with him about the power behind what he said. And that you don't just throw those words around. I have always believed that the punishment should fit the crime whenever possible, so he could not play any electronics for about a month.

I don't remember this being as big an issue when I was a child in the 80's. Even my husband, who was a gamer since consoles were invented, played outside as a child and taught himself to ride a bike. Fortunately, since my husband is familiar with most games, he is able to discern which games are appropriate and has greatly restricted Camden's online use. They have also spent time bonding when they play together.

I was having a conversation with another mom about her son's unusual behavior over video games. She brought up a great point about some children not being able to separate reality from the virtual world. Her son's house in Minecraft caught on fire and he became hysterical over his loss. Minecraft is also Camden's game of choice. These young minds are acting out of character over a non-violent, semi-constructive game.

 

This is where I am baffled as a generation X mom raising a generation Y son. I'd like to foster his passion for technical gadgets and electronic media, letting him know that he can channel this love into something constructive and explore with him the possible career opportunities. He loves science, mathematics and robotics. On the other hand, I need him to learn social skills, have human connections, and relationships and learn how to navigate various social situations. 

The obvious answer is to limit his exposure to electronics as much as possible because as parents we can "lay down the law" for our children's well being. I want to offer electronic playing time as a reward, so he doesn't think I'm totally against using it. It's a useful tool, and although using electronics comes naturally to them, they need to be taught by us how to use it responsibly. I am still navigating this unfamiliar territory. My hope is to raise a creative thinker, problem solver, cultured, respectable and compassionate young man.

To Camden's surprise, in that month of punishment he has found plenty of other interests besides gaming. He dusted off his Lego's (granted he wants to build scenes from Minecraft and use my phone to record fully narrated stories.) He gives his sister more attention, which is my favorite part. He has become fascinated with the Rainbow Loom and making origami ninja accessories. The photos in this post are from the day I gave him my camera, now he wants one.